A Quick Overview
Traditional German weddings blend customs with modern elements. Some include rituals like smashing dishes (Polterabend) and sawing a log in half (Baumstamm sägen). Learn more…
There are a lot unique German wedding customs wich might astonish Americans. Find out more about the differences…
The monetary value of your gift typically depends on how well you know the bride and groom. Click here to view our guidelines…
German weddings nowadays display a unique combination of traditions and modern elements. While individual weddings may be very different, there are some typical elements which are popular among German couple to this day.
This guide delves into the fascinating world of German weddings and how they are different from American ceremonies. Discover the nuances that set these weddings apart and gain insights that will answer your questions about German marriage practices.
German Weddings vs. American Weddings
While love and union are universal themes, the way they’re celebrated varies greatly around the world. Here’s a look at some of the key differences between German and American weddings:
In Germany, couples are required by law to have a civil ceremony at the registry office before any religious ceremony. This civil ceremony is considered the official wedding, while the church ceremony is optional and more symbolic. In contrast, American weddings usually involve a single ceremony that is both legally binding and symbolic.
Advice: It’s important to respect the couple’s wishes when it comes to wedding gifts. If they prefer cash gifts or charitable donations, it’s best to follow their wishes rather than opting for a physical gift.
German wedding receptions often begin in the afternoon and last well into the night, sometimes until dawn! American wedding receptions, on the other hand, usually start in the evening after the ceremony and end around midnight.
German weddings tend to have a smaller bridal party, often consisting of just the witnesses. These are the equivalent of the best man and maid of honour in an American wedding.
Cash is the preferred gift at German weddings. Sometimes this is even specified in the invitation.
In America, couples often set up a registry of items they want, ranging from household items to honeymoon experiences.
Unique German Wedding Traditions
Germany’s rich history and regional diversity give rise to a colourful array of wedding traditions that are as unique as they are charming. Whether it’s the humorous “Polterabend” or the team-building “Baumstamm Sägen”, these customs give German weddings a distinctive character and an unforgettable flair.
Tip: German weddings are as much about the community and family as they are about the couple. Participation in traditions is highly valued and adds to the festive spirit.
- Polterabend: This is a pre-wedding tradition where guests gather at the couple’s home and smash chinaware to bring good luck to the bride and groom. The couple are then responsible for cleaning up the shards, symbolising their ability to work together and face future challenges.
- Tree trunk sawing: After the ceremony, the newlyweds saw a log in half in front of their guests. This symbolises their first challenge as a couple and their ability to work together effectively. The quicker they saw the log, the smoother their future life will be!
- Bridal cup: The bridal cup is a traditional wedding cup in the shape of a woman in a large skirt. The skirt forms one cup, and there’s a smaller cup in the woman’s hands. The bride and groom drink from the cup at the same time, symbolising their shared experience of marriage.
- Hochzeitssuppe (wedding soup): It’s a tradition at German weddings to serve Hochzeitssuppe, a special soup with symbolic ingredients. It usually consists of chicken broth, meatballs, asparagus heads, noodles and egg custard, each of which represents a particular blessing for the couple.
- Wedding walk: After the church ceremony, it’s customary for the couple to lead their guests on a walk or parade. This is a joyous and musical procession, often featuring traditional German music.
- Stealing the bride (Brautentführung): Although not as common today, in some regions it’s traditional for the best man to “kidnap” the bride and take her to a local pub or tavern. The groom then has to find her and pay the entire bill to get his bride back!
- Wedding Shoes: A fun custom is for the bride to pay for her wedding shoes with pennies she has saved over the years. This symbolises that the bride comes into the marriage free of debt.
Gift-giving 101: What to Give at a German Wedding
In the world of German weddings, gift-giving has its own customs and etiquette. It’s often less about tangible items and more about contributing to the couple’s new life together.
The most common and preferred gift at a German wedding is cash. The amount usually depends on your relationship to the couple. Close family and friends usually give more, while acquaintances may give less.
How much money should I give?
At German weddings, family members tend to give the couple 100-250€, while friends stay within 50-100€ and acquaintances may give them 50€.
Here are some things to consider:
- Make sure the money is wrapped in a beautifully designed envelope or small decorative box.
- You could creatively fold the notes into shapes such as hearts or flowers for an added touch of personalisation.
- A treasured German wedding tradition is the wedding treasure chest. This is not a gift in itself, but rather a container for guests to place their monetary gifts. Sometimes it is provided by the couple, but in some regions it is given by a close friend or family member. In this case, creativity in the design of the chest is highly appreciated.
Personalised gifts are also well received at German weddings. These can range from a bespoke piece of art, a hand-knitted blanket or a piece of jewellery engraved with the wedding date or the couple’s initials. It’s the thought and effort that goes into these personalised gifts that counts.
Given the German penchant for practicality, gifts that offer an experience are often a hit. Consider a voucher for a cooking course, concert tickets or a day at the spa. A more extravagant option might be a weekend getaway for the couple to a romantic destination.
Some couples request that, in lieu of gifts, guests make a donation to a charity of the couple’s choice. This is a wonderful way to honour the couple’s wishes and contribute to a worthy cause.
German Weddings: A Cultural Mosaic
German weddings, with their blend of tradition and modernity, are a fascinating example of cultural richness. Polterabend, the wedding walk and tree trunk saws may seem quaint to outsiders, but to Germans they are a testament to their deep-rooted customs and shared heritage.
No matter how weddings evolve over time, these unique traditions are likely to remain a cherished part of the German wedding landscape. As a guest, you should respect these custums as much as you can and enjoy the experience, event if it strikes you as different.
